When we were kids and adults would ask us what we want to be when we grow up, the usual sorts of things would come up. A doctor, a teacher, an astronaut (that one always got me, like who ACTUALLY ever grows up to be an astronaut huh???) and so forth. I’ve been thinking about that lately, and the one answer I have is simply “I want to be a boy”. Now you must be wondering why on earth I’m saying that, and maybe some of you are slowly averting your eyes thinking “is this going to turn into a sex change discussion… #awkward”. However, it is not. What it is on the other hand, is a slightly feminist kind of piece, so boys, piss off!
Males are a piece of work. They walk around thinking the world owes them first place, and we as females are meant to just step away and accept. Well I kind of can’t hey. I can’t handle the empty minded, self-centred, shallow excuses for a human being any longer. All they care about is a pretty face and an easy lay. They see one girl, they go for her, she denies and they move on to the next one. No time to get to know a person, no effort or patience. To them, you’re just another girl along the assembly line. If you can’t give them what they want, they’ll find a girl who will. And we’ve all been there, submitting to the needs of a man purely so he doesn’t leave. We change everything about ourselves; sell our souls to the devil for a chance to even be noticed by a guy. And then what does he do, he leaves you for the next pretty face. What happened to chivalry, to Romeo outside our window, to Shakespeare comparing us to “a summer’s day”, and Mr Darcy telling us we have “bewitched him body and soul”? What happened to that? Why do we get douche bags and assholes that fuck our best friends and dump us over text? Why am I his tip drill, and not his forever? Why am I his one night stand, and not “the one”?
The answer to all this is simply: I am a woman. And because I am a woman, this is my fate. I am doomed to having men approach me only when I’m looking my best, and having left the natural me at home. And the worst part is we can never step into their shoes. When a woman does it like a dude, she gets tagged with the title ‘whore’, and not as a pimp like our male counter-parts. Why can’t I be a hustler, why can’t I be a G? Why can’t I be the one that fucks up and still gets him back? This equality shall never happen. It is the nature of things, like the sun rising in the morning and the moon setting in the evening. It is as it has always been, but with our rights to equality came our forfeiture of the chivalry that we so long for. So it is for this reason that I wish to be a boy when I grow up, to enjoy the privileges of the Y chromosome without the curses of the X. I want to be boy, because simply put, life is just easier with a penis attached.