“So, agm are you...are you gay?”

“Oh yes, darling, I am gay can’t you see?”  I have found that every day on campus seems to be a coming out day for me. Simply because as many have put it, “I don’t act gay enough” so this then means, I must always confirm people’s suspicions, because of my very flamboyant walk. 

This constant pressure of always having to come out and confirm people’s suspicions does at times get to me. Is it not possible for me to have a conversation with a new person without them having to ask me I am gay or not?

Should I dress more flamboyantly, apply makeup and be all drag so that all suspicions are confirmed, without anyone having to ask me if I am gay or not?

But however there is a personal encounter, which I will never forget in my life, it’s a story of how I got to meet my best friend. We were walking down Long Street, Cape Town. Like many eager first years, were tipsy and all we wanted to do was to have fun. We were still in awe of “Long” as it is called, the lights, the restaurants and clubs were fascinating. As we were walking, holding hands like we have been friends forever. She asked me, in a small and caring voice, whether I was gay. Those mere three words that we whispered to each other brought us together like no other drug. A connection was created, a blood link was joined and bone from my bone was created.

So next time if someone asks, you “so, agm, are you gay?” take a deep breath, and simply say yes. Exposing our vulnerability can lead to great friendships.